Really quick ...

Good afternoon lovlies.  I have a few minutes while the baby is asleep and I just wanted to catch you (like who's actually reading this lol) up on well ... my plan here.  It's so crazy how fast time flies the older you get isn't it?  I totally have really planned on getting this revamped here within the last month but time just seems to escape me!  As a kid I'd remember that a week seemed like ETERNITY.  Now a year seems sooo short.

I made mention last month that I'm adventuring out into broader territory.  When it all comes down to it I have recently had to come to complete terms with the fact that I can't change shit that I can't control.  I have always been somewhat of a control freak wrapped in OCD with other mental illness sprinkles on top.  I just have to stop it.  Stop it, stop it, stop it!  At least try and prevent a major meltdown from happening when shit that I CAN'T control doesn't go my way.  Ya feel me?  I'll give you an example:

My sister and I have had yet another spat over yet another piece of trash she has chosen to move into my fathers house that they can support.  See - already, I'm feelin' my blood startin' to boil!  Hey - I'm workin' on this shit!  It doesn't happen overnight!!!  Anyhow - I spent weeks obsessing over it.  Sick as hell, crying, depressed ... even raging anger towards others because I ALLOWED this shit to consume me - to control me!!  And trust me, this is just one of the many things I am learning to just fuckin' let go of.

So - about that broader territory.  For years I have screamed and shouted from the rooftops to accept yourself, love yourself and for the us as humans to stop being so goddamned codependent on others and to stop being so mean to each other and more importantly, ourselves.  I've done it more within' my realm of reality and my close knit group of friends online.  But I sometimes feel I just waste my time.  You know, those friends/family of yours that just contact you when their dickbag other half and them are going at it?  Those askholes...they ask for your opinion and really don't listen to a damn thing you say.  You spend countless hours at fuckin' crazy times of the night on the phone with them.  And it's all worth it - IF they respond the way I WANT them to respond.  Well I have to get away from that mentality, for ME.  So I'm going to just use the internet to vent, talk, promote self love with shit that I've went through and how I've dealt and am dealing with it.  Maybe some of you will have some solutions/advice to help me and/or others.  I guess I'm going to use you guys/this blog as a form of therapy for me?  Whatever, whatever works - right?

I'm also really into makeup, polish, fashion, hair, shoes - well really anything girly.  So I'm sure I'll be writing/videoing/blogging about all of the shit I buy!